We’re not always perfect parents even though we may want to be. We’re not always able to keep it together even though we want to. I Get It…Parenting Is Hard.
Hi guys,
I know I don’t usually write posts like this, but after the way my morning went, I thought I’d take a moment to get “really real” with all of you because my morning sucked.
You see, I had a really bad parenting moment about an hour or so ago, and I just can’t shake the feeling that I “could have / should have” handled life so much better. And I think that in this day and age of super positive parenting blogs, sometimes you just need to hear someone say, “I totally screwed up today and I feel really horrible about it.”
Like this morning, for example. I lost my temper. I mean I really, really lost it. And, it wasn’t pretty. It was angry. It was bitchy. It was rude. But, it wasn’t totally uncalled for. After two hours of begging my children to get through their morning routine, they had tested every last bit of patience I had left. But, I am the parent and I am feeling really bad right now that I couldn’t hold my tongue.
What makes it worse is that if you know me in “real life,” you know that I have two pretty spectacular kids. It sounds kind of obnoxious, but really, they’re amazing. They’re kind-hearted. They’re friendly to everyone. They’re polite and well-mannered. They’re like the Golden Retrievers of the kid world. So, the fact that I lost my marbles today is really embarrassing and rather disappointing.
But after beating myself up for the past hour or so, I finally came to the conclusion that it’s OKAY if you can’t always keep it together…even if your kids are “really good.” To be honest, it doesn’t even matter what they were doing that set me off this morning. I’m not here to “out” them in cyberspace – I’m just here to let you know parent-to-parent that…
I Get It.
I understand that it can be really hard to be a parent. I understand that it can seem impossible to get your kids moving faster in the morning. I understand that it can be really difficult to keep it all together when your little cherubs STILL can’t follow their morning routine even though there are only 2 ½ months of school left.
I also understand that if you had a morning like I did, you’re probably beating yourself up over it right now. Yeah, sure, in the moment, you probably justified your temper tantrum like I did. But now that you’re at work and they’re at school, it’s hitting you. And you feel probably really crappy about it like I do and you may even want to cry a little bit because all of your emotions are finally poured out.
And I pray that at some point you were able to “turn it around” – but maybe you couldn’t…or wouldn’t.
I Get It.
My turning point was when I snidely snapped at my kids for the state of their fingernails. One hadn’t cut them in weeks and they resembled Wolverine’s claws. The other one had nails gnawed away to the pink and it actually hurt me to look at them. I made a really disrespectful, rude comment and then my oldest looked me in the face, with big, hurt eyes, and said, “Mom. You’re acting like a bully.”
And, he was right. My adult temper tantrum had got me so twisted up in my head that I was being a big, ugly bully to the people I love most in this world.
So, listen closely…
I Get It.
We’re not always perfect parents even though we may want to be. We’re not always able to keep it together even though we want to. So when we lose our way and enter the big scary world of being a shitty parent, all we can do is apologize and help them understand that we’re only human and we made a big mistake.
Luckily, I am a good enough parent 95% of the time and my kids know that I would do anything in the world for them. So after I apologized and hugged them and admitted that my behavior was gross and unkind, my kids were gracious enough to pick me back up again.
So, if you had a terrible morning like I did, just know that I’m here for you. I’m rooting for you over here in my little corner of cyberspace and I’m hoping that you can still turn your day around and make amends. But if you can’t, it’s okay because…
I Get That Too.
Be good to each other,
Denine
Want more parenting posts? We’ve got a ton:
- how to raise boys that are kind
- reward systems for kids on the autism spectrum
- helping our kids find balance with after-school activities
- helping with school anxiety in children
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